Verizon is the best!

Sorry for all the negativity — it definitely doesn’t come from my mom — I guess I was born with it.

I very briefly wanted to mention a revealing experience I had at Verizon before I left. I had been having trouble with my blackberry since August. Specifically, the clickball wouldn’t click and my keys were not very responsive. I did some research and discovered that this is a common problem and usually the result of having sand in your keyboard — punishment for living the good life in Corona del Mar. All I had to do to fix this was open my phone up and clean the keyboard with compressed air. However, I couldn’t do this myself because I would have nullified my warranty. Obviously, this is a pain in the ass — but understandable. There are lots of idiots out there and we certainly don’t want them going Zoolander (reference 2) on their electronics.

Before leaving for Chile, I went to Verizon with my mom to ask a few questions about international options and to have my phone resuscitated. First, we waited for 30 minutes before being helped because all those goobers took a lunch break at the same time. The boob who ended up deferring my questions to a worthless pamphlet made some subtle comment to a friend about “getting his stuff” and came back empty-handed but undoubtedly high. The lady who helped me with my phone took care of her first order of business efficiently. She asked me for my phone number and I told her the problem as she punched it in. I told her exactly what she had to do. She retorted by telling me that my phone was still under warranty and that she would simply give me a new one. She transferred my numbers and sent us on our merry way — after treating me like an idiot for not being able to input my correct passwords. She was unaware of the fact that there was an approximately 15 minute time delay before the servers would process this info.

Verizon’s employee incentive structure is such that this fool would rather give me a brand new phone than spend three minutes fixing my old one. These baboons were able to sit in a pow-wow during their group lunch break in the corner of the store, while customers piled in and fomented in frustration. On top of all this, we have restrictions against mobile-banking, monopolies granted through restrictive contracts (iPhone) and uncompetitive infrastructure.

There are plenty of engineers hanging out on Slashdot anticipating the day when regulations are lifted allowing them to modernise these antediluvian practices. Let’s hope that day comes soon.


One Response to “Verizon is the best!”

  1. Rob Fries Says:

    Uh-oh…I have to go to Verizon sometime very soon as my phone is a big piece….hopefully I don’t run into the same group of fools that you did.

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